Post by london maria michaels on Nov 8, 2010 17:00:02 GMT -5
london maria michaels.
twenty. resident. burlesque dancer and stripper. katy perry.[/font][/i]
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im not really sure how to describe my life. i guess the beginning is always a good place to start. im the oldest of ten children, in a household of seventeen, and im in charge. it seems like i have a lot of weight on my shoulders at only twenty years old, right? well i do, but im used to it by now. my parents left about five years ago, both of them finally, and ive been the head of the house since fifteen. im not even sure how i managed that one sometimes, but it took a lot of luck and prayer, thats for sure. many people in the world never got as lucky as i did, but with an air of confidence and a few times for perfection i managed to always make myself out to be older then my physical age. like a vampire! well not really, i dont feed on people and walk the earth for eternity, but i do manipulate the truth to get by.
well my parents were never bad people, and even to this day i still love them despite all the crap they put us through. even from the very beginning, things were messed up. from what i was told though, they had a good marriage the first two years of my life, but then my dad, cameron, cheated on my mother, tammy, and well.. things got a little complicated then. you see, jessica was one of my dads friends sister, and she was looking a little too good one night after a few drinks, and well, lets just say nine months a pair of twins, nolan and natalia, were born to jessica, and my little sister, naomi, was born to my mother. to save my family the shame, they just said the three of them were triplets, and it worked well enough. jessica didnt want the two of them anyway, so our household of three became a household of five in two days. my parents worked it out though, so it seemed, because my little brother, parker, was born a couple years later.
as i got older though, i slowly began to realize that my family wasnt normal at all. we were living in low income housing in the middle of the ghetto, and my parents behavior always seemed off. i didnt know at the time that it was drugs and alcohol because i was too young to know of such things, but i would se them passing out and falling all over the place since i was really little, and beating on each other and even me sometimes. it was fine when it was just me, but my brothers and sisters needed caring for since they were small, and even at the age of five i can remember feeding my baby brother his bottle, and helping to put my two year old siblings to sleep because my parents were sprawled out in their beds. there was a lof of peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches made, let me tell you. my next door neighbor was a saint. because of her watching my siblings during the day time for a few hours, i could go to school. i knew theyd be well taken care of, and school was like heaven compared to home.
my mom took off when i was about seven on some vacationing trip for work, so she said. i cant even remember what she did back then, because the two of them were inbetween jobs, supposedly so often. my guess was that they were drug dealers and she was a prostitute and a stripper. i was probably right. anyway, when she came back around, she was pregnant. my dad was none too pleased with that fact, but i heard a lot of 'the pot calling the kettle black' statements that year. the drug habits were getting worse, and i was constantly taking charge of the little ones, making sure they were cleaned and taken care of. when nolan, natalia, and naomi joined me in school, it was a blessing. they soon saw what an amazing thing the world could be outside of our home. brooklyn, my mothers fair hair love child, was born when i was seven, as i said, and her second fair haird love child by the same man was born when i was ten.
as i had gotten older id been taking on more and more responsibilities, but i never neglected my schooling. i knew how important it was to me, even then, and the fact that i had such an amazing place to go to only made me want to work harder. my parents were always in and out of the house, it seemed throughout my whole life, but especially after brooklyn was born. theyd leave for days at a time, sometimes both of them at once, and id have to skip out on school to make sure the young ones were taken care of. id ask them where they were, but their answers were always the same. it was none of my business. it was usually followed by a slap or two for something id neglected to do, but id never let them lay a hand on my baby siblings. to them, i was just another adult, despite my being seventeen years their junior. my parents were reckless, and moronic, but they were my parents, nonetheless, and i took everything they threw at me. i didnt know then, but i should have thanked them. they prepared me for what was to come.
my little brother liam was born when i was eleven, and it seemed like things were growing out of control in the house. my parents were gone more and more and there was hardly any food in the house at all, but somehow we always managed to squeeze by. the free school lunches helped a ton, that was for sure. sometimes that was the only meal i got a day when my parents were around long enough to allow me to go to school, and my neighbor wasnt too busy to watch the kids for me. after liam was born, about two months later, my mom took off, and i havent seen her since. i wouldnt be surprised if she oded someplace, but wherever she is, i hope shes happy and safe.
my dad spiraled out of control after that. he was drunk more and more often, and stoned out of his mind. he would get really scary, and i could remember locking him in his room almost every night, though i went in quite often to make sure he was still breathing. though, those trips to check his pulse led me to lose my virginity, and to become a toy for quite a few nights. i took it quietly. i began to forget what sleeping a full night felt like. by that time, i hadnt done it in years, and it only became worse. the sleeping arrangements were odd. we had kids piled on one another in one twin sized bed, kids on the floor, kids in the crib. of course my dad kept the master bedroom and stuffed the eight of us in a tiny space. it bonded us though, made us stronger, despite his selfishness. adrian, hunter as we call him, was dropped off on our front porch one day by one of my fathers ladies, angie, and she was never heard from again. but things didnt change. it was one more mouth to feed with no money, and when i was thirteen, i began taking sidejobs for people to make more money and putting it towards my siblings.
a couple years later, gabriella showed up on our front porch via farren, but a few months prior to that my dad disappeared completely. she looked just like the majority of our kids, so i knew it she wasnt just some random kid. i took her in though. by now i was supposed to be a sophomore in highschool, but i had to drop out once my parents were gone completely, and i began posing as an eighteen year old, learning to change my papers and information to get a job. i was highly street smart, and i got a decent job working early mornings as a stocker at a local food warehouse from midnight to five am. i only made minimum wage, but it was enough to get by on. unfortunately, that meant i was gone from the house for five hours, and away from the babies, so naomi and natalia had to take turns on a couple of feedings, but they didnt complain too much. they were old enough to know better.
i fell in love that year. with everything on my plate, i was definitely willing to believe that there was a knight in shining armor to save me from all the work, pain, and sorrow, and he went by the name of michael. he was amazing, simply amazing and i thought he was the greatest thing in the world. he told me promises of marrying me and taking me away form that place and helping me make a better life for my brothers and sisters.. he was the first one i told everything to, and i fell pregnant with him when i was sixteen. it seemed like i was following in my parents footsteps, but because i was going to get married, i knew it had to be okay. but it wasnt. ryder levi was born, levi after my beloved brother, and everything seemed great for a couple months, then michael took off without child support, without saying goodbye, without a word. just like my mom. just like my dad.
although i cried myself to sleep quite a few nights, i soon healed with the help of my darling son. i got a new job soon after he was born, a second job, working at a high end fast food joint. i made more there then i did stocking, but with the family growing, i needed to keep another job. i began working that one part time here and there, so the older kids had to switch off being absent every so often to take care of the babies. i hated doing that, and i could tell sometimes they despised me for it, but it needed to be done. another knight was just around the corner though, travis, and i was thrilled to have someone in my life again, but this time he seemed just as messed up as me, and he knew what i was going through. he loved my son like his own, and we were together for nearly a year before i fell pregnant with his child. unlike michael though, he helped, despite my protests. he added his pay checks to mine and we had the house running pretty well, better then in previous years. we were able to afford better food and get the kids some new clothes and toys every so often, and it was like christmas. he was twenty two, and i was seventeen, but we were perfect for each other. i knew this time it had to work, and when i became pregnant with his baby at eighteen, i knew it was going to be okay, i just knew it.
teagan was born, and things were better then ever for me. i was engaged to be married, and having travis around meant that none of the older kids had to stay home to help with the babies. they were doing better in school and everyone was a lot happier. nolan though, got a girl pregnant. i couldnt scold him for doing it though, i had made the same mistakes of falling pregnant at an ealy age, but i jus thoped none of my siblings would do the same. he had a beautiful boy, maddox, just a couple months after teagan was born. at first his situation seemed fine, but soon the mother couldnt take it and i agreed to let maddox stay with us. how could i not? he was family afterall, and i never turned my back on my family. naomi and brooklyn were also experimenting with drugs that year, but i put a stop to naomis behavior quickly, but brooklyn was hesistant to listen despite my efforts. i knew that a majority of the kids probably tried drugs by this point, but she came home smelling like alcohol and weed one night, and i wasnt very happy with her at all.
natalia and i fell pregnant around the same time the next year, and although i wasnt quite happy about her being a young mother, i did think it was pretty cool that we were supposed to be due in the same month. travis and i began planning our wedding that year as well, and it was going to be a beautiful one for all of our family, despite the low budget. i didnt care, as long as i became london anthony. thats all i wanted. unfortunately, that wasnt going to happen. when i was five months along, travis was in a fatal car accident coming home from work, and he was killed instantly. that weighed hard on me. i laid in bed for a good two days and refused to do anything. the older kids took care of the younger, and i refused to eat or even look at any of them. it took a lot of effort to kick myself in the butt to be able to get up and force myself to go back to work, but even then it was hard. it was hard looking at my stomach, at my child, at my engagement ring and to know that with all the promises and all the happiness, none of those would ever happen. i cried more then i had ever cried in my life, and i was ashamed of it, but my family was there for me. nolan held me many countless nights, rocking me to sleep through my shaking sobs, parker kissed away my tears and wrote me beautiful poetry, the little kids all tried to make me laugh, and naomi and natalia cooked for the others. it took me a long time to get back on my feet full yon my own, but i did. right before zakarie was born, i got my act together and got back on track. it was also then that broklyn got her act together because she found out she was pregnant at only thirteen years old. i felt like i had completley failed as a caregiver at that one, but i offered her my support nonetheless. zakarie, skylar, and daisy were born within a few hours of each other, and much like nolan, natalia, and naomi, we joke that theyre triplets from heaven, though this time out children look quite different. skylar and daisy, the faternal twins were fair haired and blue eyed, while zakarie was brown haired and brown eyed like his father.
i got back into shape rather quickly after zakarie, and i started a new job. it was something i thought i would never do in my life, but we needed more money now then we ever had, and without travis to help me, i had didnt have enough money to feed everyone the way i wanted to. so, i started stripping and burlesque dancing, and despite having to take my clothes off, i enjoyed performing infront of people. im even featured as a singer on select nights, and i make a ton of money in tips. well.. its not a ton, but its certianly a good amount to take care of seventeen mouths, which was the number we had as soon as the strawberry blonde starlite gryffin was born. i have to say though, im rather content with my life now, even though i miss travis dearly. im making a good life for everyone that i love, and both nolan and naomi have jobs now, so they offer up part of their paychecks to help out, but i only accept small amounts. i make them put most of it away for college, though they do sometimes spoil the kids with it. i cant blame them, they take after me, afterall.
so theres my life story, unedited for the most part, and completely true. i dont think any more people will get to know that much, but who knows. so as i sit here with my beautiful snuggly boy, zakarie in my lap, and the sounds of children giggling and playing around me, i must bid you goodnight. i have dinner to cook.
x london
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[/color]steph. 19. jackson and kieran.[/font][/i][/center]
