Post by kayla on Nov 8, 2010 3:24:26 GMT -5
kayla ariella leilani.
twenty two. resident. call girl. swanepoel.[/font][/i]
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DECEMBER 25TH 2009
christmas has come and gone once again, and i sit here at midnight writing this, trying to keep my mind off the stupid things i've done today alone. isn't this supposed to be a family day? of course, i had better things to do than pay attention to what my family wanted me to do. i worked long and hard hours tonight, a night where im supposed to let everything go, drink and be happy for a change, instead i probably drunk far to much alcohol and let cocaine get right into my system as this good for nothing slob paid to have sex with me. oh, don't i just live the high class life? i spent the last hour, throwing up my guts into the nice porcelain bowel of the hotel room i'm staying in, i'm not even sure where i am, i really can't remember why i'm even here instead of at my apartment. maybe it's the drugs fucking with my brain, but theres something missing right now and i can't really put my finger on what it is.
JANUARY 1ST 2010
oh right, i remembered why i'm not in my house, somehow i flooded the place and my landlord saw it fit to throw me out onto the streets, despite the fact he knows i really don't have the money to afford another place. you know what he asked of me? he asked me to give him sex and he'd let me stay, and you'd think, me being the sex addict i am would have given him exactly what he wanted. but no, i packed up my shit and got the hell out of that shit hole place that i did call home for a while there. people aren't always as nice as i usually perceive them to be, i'm kinda over the bullshit they throw my way - and those so called friends, now we all know they're only around for the sex - yes you know who i'm talking about, and theres more than one. call me whatever names you want, but they don't hurt me, not as much as i've been hurt before.
MARCH 12TH 2010
spent the night in hospital, stomach pumps are sooooo fun, not. im really thinking cleaning my life up is the best thing for me, but i don't really know what to do with myself. theres always something going on, keeping me to busy to get into that crap. rehab, really? i dunno, maybe it's something i should look into, i guess theres a chance it'd work out for me, but i'm not even sure i want to. people are pretty much telling me that i need to clean up my life, the family have pretty much excluded me from any family event, so i'm pretty much on my own right now. i guess, i kinda miss having people around, maybe i should cut out the attitude and try and get them back for a change. head to rehab, maybe head back to hawaii to be with the family for a couple of weeks? sounds pretty nice.
JUNE 16TH 2010
god summer is finally here and i don't even really know what i've been doing the past few months, guess i kinda fucked up in writing in this thing more often - sorry, but i've had more important things going on. had a pretty short stint in rehab, about two months actually, and i guess it's kinda been helping. not so much of the hard stuff any more just a little mary jane when i can be bothered buying an ounce. took up the job again though, after a visit with the family. god i miss hawaii, wonder why i ever moved from there to here. it's been years since i did make the move and every day since i've wondered why i left my home in maui to come here to this hick town. moms still telling me i need to pretty much sort my life out, find a guy and settle down, kinda getting that way myself. i've been single for a hell of a long time, sleeping around longer and pretty much i feel like a load of shit all the time. they finally outed me on some of my body issues though, you know, bulimia and all that stuff? although i never would have admitted it to anyone, i finally told my parents all about this stupid disorder i've had issues with for the past six years, they seemed completely surprised, and somehow that doesnt shock me. didn't think they knew what was going on in my life, or those hours i'd spend in the bathroom with the shower running.
AUGUST 4TH 2010
summer is starting to come to an end, and with end comes new beginnings, so yeah i'm looking for a new job, although i'm sticking with the one i have right now, i don't want to be left without money, or else i wouldn't be able to afford this really nice apartment i have, right near the beach. it's costing me an arm and a leg, but you get some great tips and gifts in this industry. bought a truck - so happy with it. it suits me, hard and big, purrs like a kitten, so gorgeous and tough. guess it's gonna suit my new life, if i can really bring myself to change completely. theres always going to be a part of me thats staying this way, i wanna be true to kay, but theres some things i need to cut out of my life, and that may just include men altogether, sex maybe not so much. i'm a nympho pretty much, so cutting out sex is never going to happen, but i can try calm it down a bit. i'm sick of my friends calling me a slut, and my sister acting like i'm a complete idiot. i think it's time i separate myself from the problems in my life and finally grow up. twenty two and i'm only just realising, i've wasted so many nights and days blind drunk and high. not any more.
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[/color]jenners. twenty. austen, bailey, logan, sofia.[/font][/i][/center]