COLE, rion alexander

[rion alexander cole]

rion alexander cole.

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twenty one. celebrity. actor . bradley james.[/font][/i]

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dear dad,

i don't know why i'm writing to you. not just because you've not had contact with me in over twelve years, but because i don't even have your address. but i don't know who else to talk to. i need one of my parents. i would say i hope fate guides this letter to you, but, much like you, i don't actually believe in fate.

i have to start with this question: do you even care anymore? i know you didn't when we were younger. i remember when i was seven years old and cleo and elena would creep into my room. you always called them your two little angels, do you remember that? well their not so angelic now. it's no surprise really, not with what they went through. i'm tough, i can deal with it, plus i have distractions, but them, they don't. your voice used to echo through the whole house, and i could remember how your stern tone scared them so. how they hated the way you spoke to mum, much like i did. we hated the way you could hear everything in that little london house of ours. they used to creep into my room, and we would all sit there together, comforting each other as mum's shouts and the sound of fist against flesh was heard from downstairs. you were drunk, i suppose you don't remember it so much, but it used to happen to much. do you have any idea what that did to us? do you understand why we lived in fear now? we were afraid we would be next.

and then they found out. you know who told them? me. that's right. i stood up. somebody had to find some courage within themselves and stop this. mum wasn't going to, she put her newly formed bruises and cuts down to 'tripping over' despite the fact her friends could guess what was going on. but it was me, when sometime after my eighth birthday (which i seem to remember you absolutely ruined) i told people what was going on. after you hit me, teachers asked questions at school, and i was clever enough to realize it was better for them to know. because then they could stop it.

that's why it's also my fault.

not that they took you away. no, taking you and locking you up was the best thing they did. it meant you couldn't hurt us anymore. and yet, it hurt mum. i'll never understand why she did it, but she did and that's that. i don't know why she wasn't glad to be rid of you, after all, you too couldn't have shared love. firstly, there's no such thing as love, it's simply a figment of people's imagination. even if such a thing did exist, what you did to her surely cancelled out any feelings between you two. but she killed herself. cleo found her. it's scarred her for life i'm sure, seeing her own mother hanging from the ceiling after she hung herself. what's even more sickening is she hung herself for you. you, you worthless pig who never did anything but punch her. she died for you, and yet, you cared naught for her.

aunt katie took us in of course. you never liked her, i always did. she was grieving too, but she managed to discover my talent and passion for acting, a profession i know you never would have approved of. she cared for us, sent us to good schools and made sure we were all alright, day in, day out. she cared for us better than you ever did, that's for sure. sometimes she can be eccentric, but she was a great lady.

i didn't go to drama school then, like most well known actors did from birth. it was only in that school that i discovered my passion and talent for acting, and the fact that it made everyone notice me. but my aunt encouraged me to pursue it as i loved it so much. i'd never really thought of it as a career before, but she encouraged it, so i took it on. she got me transferred to a drama school when i was fifteen, and although i had a very short time there, i learned a lot. enough to realize that i loved it. so i continued for a level, trying to pick up as much as i could from it.

it was when i was seventeen that i got my first role that was actually named. i'd been an extra in things before, but until that point, nothing that was actually acknowledged. it was quite a small part, only originally for a character which would only appear in one or two episodes in a tv show. sure, i was studying, but i'd never really been extremely academic and this was far more important than that. so i took it, and from there everything just worked out perfectly. i even ended up moving to tennessee with aunt katie, cleo and elena (of course). it was nice to escape england actually, and easier due to the fact most things were filmed in the states.

they loved me so much they decided they wanted to bring my character back, and so i was signed on for more episodes, aunt katie becoming my manager of some kind. i was offered roles in films, which i eagerly accepted, and not to soon after i had finally finished my a level exam in 'performing arts', i was offered a role in a blockbuster movie. that was brilliant experience, and i learned a lot from it. sometimes i don't know why i bothered continuing with my education though, it probably slowed me up from doing this kind of thing earlier. after all, it was m looks that girls loved that initially grabbed their attention, and then the fact that i was a good actor helped with that.

you probably don't care about the fame i'm now receiving after being the lead role in many a film and starring in that hit tv show on the bbc that you must have seen at some point in time. aren't you proud of me though? it's not like you could have missed the fact that your son is now widely known. why haven't you tried to get in touch? i know i've insulted you a lot as a parent, but the truth is, i really need you here. so what if i can be on the cover of magazines? so what if i'm a charmer and a well known ladies man? so what if people care about me? you don't, and that's what really matters.

this is my last attempt to try and track you down. i'm having my people trying to find you, but it doesn't seem to be working. i get the feeling this is it, i should just give up now and live my life. all you ever did was mess it up anyway - i've done so much better without you. but i still want to meet my father, and know exactly who he was and why he did those things.

please.

rion.

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becca. fifteen. nada![/font][/i][/center]